Blind single dad of a little girl asks for help

March 29, 2017

My daughter and I live in Budapest, Hungary, in an apartment rented from the local government. I myself am a 31-year-old father, while my daughter, Kitti, is 3 years old.

I am raising her alone, her mother and I have divorced in September 2015.

A number of articles appeared about us, presenting our situation, which can be regarded a curiosity in this country:

NLCafé“A lányom az egyetlen, ami miatt sajnálom a vakságot. Őt nagyon megnézném!”

Blikk.hu – Megható! Így neveli egyedül kétéves kislányát Viktor, a vak édesapa

ECHO TV – Csakazértis Demeter Viktor

People with disabilities have rather limited opportunities in Hungary. Bringing up a family with official, legal work is almost impossible; unfortunately, success is only possible by means of unofficial work, which in itself is deeply disappointing. I love my country, but the situation of disabled people is depressing; the lack of language knowledge may be a contributing factor in not looking for another country where we could lead a normal, liveable life.

Basically, a blind person does not receive support for the necessary equipment (computer, phone, blood pressure measurement systems, scale, etc.). Even if a minimal support is given, it is given within a framework, which is hardly enough for creating and maintaining standard living conditions, without assistance from the family and sighted wife or friends.

In fact, in case anything breaks down, most blind people hardly know how to fix it, as tinkering or repairing (which otherwise seems to come naturally) already requires external help. Consequently, this also raises financial difficulties in most cases, since professional work has to be paid.

I work as a masseur, which almost fully covers our livelihood, yet I feel myself and my job unsuitable for envisioning a future.

We live in a flat owned by the Újpest local government; the lease contract renews every year, which does not contribute to the feeling of security, and raises doubts regarding what I can give to Kitti to start her life and establish her future.

Certainly, you know how hard it is to be at the right place at the right time when raising a kid on your own – be at the kindergarten in time, but have someone to look after your kid when you need to work. Additionally, it brings up the question of work-family balance.

Formerly, I tried to involve babysitters, yet I had to realize that people are not reliable; moreover, the need for personal presence is even more apparent when you are on your own. As a result, the child will place absolute trust in the parent, since the parent will always be there in space and time, physically and mentally as well. Although Kitti meets her mother every other week, I still feel as though I’m not only her father, but a little bit her mother too. She receives love, tenderness and rigor from the same person.

Therefore, I am trying to spend as much time with Kitti as possible, to give her a good foundation, especially spiritually and mentally.

I would like to ask for your help and support, in order to give financial security to my daughter, besides the spiritual and mental safety.

If you have any contact in Hungary (primarily in Budapest), I could do office massages during the day, which would enable me to build up some savings. Naturally, I could work occasionally as well, even at entire weekend events.

In case you do not have such contacts, could you help me in the form of a financial donation?

My apologies for contacting you without previous acquaintance – unfortunately, I have realised there is no other way if I wish to build a stable future for Kitti.

At present, being a single parent seems to be difficult only because of the lingering uncertainty, since besides providing security, a man’s responsibility also lies in keeping everything else in order.

If there is an illness, or there are cancelled massages; it may be a major issue, or even just diarrhoea or a minor illness.

Nowadays we get by somehow, though if something happened to me, I wouldn’t leave anything to Kitti. I have to change this, and I have to know that I will be able to pay for her studies and will be able to help her in everything she needs, as every father would do.

Being blind I am not even able to provide manual help, like those dads who build a house for their children. Living with this disability I can only assure my daughter about my spiritual and mental support. Should you help me in any way, I could support her financially as well.

The reason for writing this letter is that Kitti’s speech development is delayed, hence we take movement development classes two times a week. Unfortunately, this is not possible by means of governmental aid, so we pay for this as well, which imposes a significant monthly burden for at least six more months. When facing this extra expense, I was posed a challenge once again, and I had to realize my need for help. Although it is awkward and embarrassing, I must turn to You unknown, as a foreign citizen, in order to provide my daughter with everything.

In case you would publish our story or forward it to anyone (may it be your partner or acquaintance who could be of help), naturally, I give you my consent to do so and greatly appreciate your good intention.

Since I do not speak any foreign language, I requested professional translation. Therefore, if you would be so kind to reply to me, it will take a little time for me to react. Thank you for your kind understanding.

I am looking forward to receiving your reply, and I sincerely trust that you understand my situation and will try to contribute to this matter in some way.

Yours faithfully,

Viktor Demeter